Am I Truly Ashamed of My SIn?

It has been well over two years since I last blogged. I don't know why I don't blog more. Well yes I do. I find in my spare time that I enjoy reading other's blogs more than actually doing the blogging myself. However, last night during our family devotions using Dr. Gordon K. Reed's daily devotional, Westminster Daily Devotional, we read a passage from Scripture that was Ezekiel 36:22-32 and I have been meditating on it since.

The verses that particularly struck a chord with me were verses 25-32: "25 I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleannesses, and from all your idols I will cleanse you. 26 And I will give youa new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. 27 And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules. 28 You shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers, and you shall be my people, and I will be your God. 29 And I will deliver you from all your uncleannesses. And I will summon the grain and make it abundant and lay no famine upon you. 30 I will make the fruit of the tree and the increase of the field abundant, that you may never again suffer the disgrace of famine among the nations. 31 Then you will remember your evil ways, and your deeds that were not good, and you will loathe yourselves for your iniquities and your abominations. 32 It is not for your sake that I will act, declares the Lord God; let that be known to you. Be ashamed and confounded for your ways, O house of Israel." (English Standard Version)

"You will remember your evil ways." What a statement! It has been intriguing to me; a small, insignificant country preacher who's battles are fought on a smaller scale, but still grip the souls of my people; to view the the workings of the church on a larger scale and wonder what God is doing with us. When I say "us," I mean the whole of us as the Bride of Christ. It seems to many that we are living in dark times, that evil is prevailing, that God must do SOMETHING or our precious denominations and conceived notions of what Christianity is is going to hell in a hand basket. There is the outcry that if things don't change politically, racially and even sexually that "they...the secular world...those no good NON-Christians" will win. We point to the world and the devil and say, "It's your fault we are in this state." We tell the world, "Can't you just be more biblically moral?" 

And then the Ashley Madison scandal is publicized, heroes of the biblical moral standard like Josh Duggar is outed, and our pastors such as Tullian Tchividjian fall from grace and we realize that we aren't being biblically moral ourselves. What we tout and those whom we point to as examples are really no better than anyone else. "You will remember your evil ways." Yes Lord, we will. We remember that it is not just the world and the devil that has gotten "us" in the mess we are in, but it is our own carnal desires. Paul reminds us, "8 Those who are in the flesh cannot please God," (Romans 8:8) and "16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh" (Galatians 5:16). It seems to me that we, the "us" of the church, have forgotten that vital aspect of being "Spirit Filled" to such a degree that we have "hearts of flesh" instead of "hearts of stone." No, we are not walking with the Spirit as a whole and God is making us "remember" that we aren't.

However, I think another crucial statement the prophet says hits home even more, "You will loathe yourselves for your iniquities and your abominations." Ugh...knife, or arrow right in the heart. Oh we get so excited about God's grace. We go to our "worship" and sing and jump and cry, thankful that such a loving God would love us so much; would "give us a new heart;" would "put a new spirit within you." But do we love HIM for such grace? Sure we are thankful; but what about the "removal of idols." Are they really gone? Are the idols of homosexuality, pornography, cheating on spouses, untruthfulness, wealth, etc. really out of our lives? Are there really new hearts? My goodness, I see so many Christians claim to be in the faith, but are loving their sins and not "loathing themselves." That's what the Holy Spirit-filled heart does. We can be thankful that "Calvary covers it all," yet still remember that we are at war spiritually. Why? Why are we to loathe ourselves? Why? Why are we to "be ashamed and confounded for [our] ways?" For ourselves? No!! Because God desires that we feel worthy about ourselves. Again, no!! 

We are special because God made us. We are special because we are created in His image. Our souls are so important to Him that He sent His One and Only Son, Jesus Christ to die on the cross and to rise again to cleanse these wretched hearts and make us "new creatures in Him." God's acts to bring sin to light is not about "us," "it is not for your sake...declares the LORD GOD." It is about restoration and redemption so that all who "are left all around you ["us"] shall know that I am the Lord."

Do I hate my sin enough? Personally, I have to say no. Do I still love the idols of my heart more than God? Personally, I have to say that at times I do. Yet God in His grace loves me enough to make me remember my evil ways and deeds that were not good. God in His love for me causes me to loathe myself for my iniquities and my abominations. Why? Because in His holy light my sins are exposed and I see that God loves me enough not to keep me that way; to give me a new heart, to put His Spirit in me, to make me clean, to make me His child and cause me to walk in His statutes. 

I live for God because Christ died for me. CH Spurgeon said, "Justification without sanctification would not be salvation. It would call the leper clean and leave him to die of the disease." I am fearful for the souls who think they are clean. That's the rub in the church. It is not the immorality of the immoral. It is the immorality of those who should be moral. It is the licentiousness of the liar. It is the hypocrisy. It is the inconsistency.

"Am I truly ashamed of my sin?" That is a crucial question we should be asking ourselves in today's culture. We are too busy wanting God to desire us, that we forget that our chief end is to desire Him. If you are truly His child, He will "effectuate salvation through His Word, prayer and the sacraments" (WSC#88). Make no mistake about it. God will not leave you to "Chase after your raisin cakes" (Hosea 3:1). Repent and put your trust in Christ. He is the only way.